Najaf, Iraq – The first reports of horrified Iraq Republican Guard units were first discounted as the ravings of the shell shocked, but now firmly documented reports confirm the use of some sort of undead troops by the United States. As the United States push towards Baghdad slowed it is now apparent that the Government authorized a desperate gamble, confirmed reports say that suddenly United States troops seemed to pull out of their positions and then the Iraqis were forced to confront true horror.
“The American artillery was still pounding away at our armored divisions and hard targets,” said one former Republican Guard Colonel. “We saw large groups of what appeared to be American soldiers advancing on our positions, and we opened fire. They wouldn’t die…it was horrible. We would blow them to pieces, but the pieces would merely reassemble and continue the advance. They were invincible. The began to rip my men apart and eat them...it was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. We had no choice, but to withdraw."
Many have speculated why the Iraq armor units moved out making them easy targets, most thought it was merely stupidity of the Iraqi commanders or perhaps an underestimation of American air power, but Iraqi commanders tell a different tale. They had to move out or be destroyed by legions of the living dead that devoured the flesh of the living. Somehow the government was able to control these ghouls enough that they only devoured those of the Iraqi military and did not attack the normal populace of this Arab nation.
“The stink of rot was strong in the air,” said Mohammad Akubar, a local Islamic Cleric. “There appeared to be thousands of men, if you can call them men rightly, in American uniform. They stumbled about, but no matter what was done to them they did not stop advancing. I saw one up close myself, his stink was unbearable…his face was damaged beyond repair and flesh seemed to hang from his bones. He looked at me and it sent a chill to my very core…but thank Allah I was not his target and he continued towards the Iraqi lines.”
Once the Republican Guard units had retreated and been blow apart by the US Air Force the unliving were recalled and not seen again in the fighting.
“If anything proves that the American’s are the Great Satan more than this…I know not what it is,” said Akubar. “This is truly an abomination in the eyes of all religions.”
The Pentagon refused to comment on the possible existence of legions of the undead under US Military control, sighting National Security concerns. A Highly placed source in the Pentagon revealed that the Undead had also been used in Afghanistan in the cave fighting against the Taliban.
“President Bush himself authorized the use of these…things. It’s new technology, but it worked well which means will probably see them again and again…someday perhaps even openly.”
