Akron, OH - Herbert Bauer received the shock of his life when his twelve year old donkey first spoke to him last Thursday.
Herbert, who has had numerous donkeys on his farm over the years, always knew there was something special about Jack, but he never would have imagined that this donkey would become the focus of worldwide scientific inquiry and scrutiny.
Jack has actually self-diagnosed his remarkable abilities. "It's quite simple, really," Jack says. "At an early age, I was exposed to low level radiation from nuclear waste that was impoperly stored. Over time, the latent radiation that remained in my body and caused the hyper development of my intelligence and speech abilities."
Veterinary experts and nuclear physicists have worked together to corroborate the story that Jack tells. Vet records do in fact indicate that Jack spent two years starting in 1994 at a farm next to a known nuclear waste storage facility. That location is now undergoing remediation treatment under the Federal government's Superfund cleanup program.Sadly, Jack feels that his superintelligence has negatively impacted his quality of life. Though he can now let his owner know of his needs and wants, he is questioning his career as a stud. "I dont feel that the females I mate with really understand me, or even want to get to know me." Jack is now seeing a therapist twice a week, and owner Herbert believes that Jack will come to enjoy life again soon.
