Osama bin Laden escaped from a federal terrorist detetion facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, and has been spotted on the surface of Mars by the Spirit rover. NASA scientists speculate that bin Laden had the aid of extraterrestrials; President Bush, with a nod from the US Senate and House of Representatives, declares war on Martians.President Bush addressed the nation on Sunday with a special speech:
Recalling my October 7, 2001 speech to the nation, I said that from that day forward, any nation that continues to harbor or support terrorism will be regarded by the United States as a hostile regime. The same holds true for any group or organization, including any extra-terrestrial beings who aid and abet the actions of international terrorists.
Since the solar flares and coronal mass ejections of October of last year, the CIA has gathered what I believe to be conclusive evidence that these solar phenomena were not merely natural occurences, but deliberate attacks against the free people of our world.Now we have direct visual evidence of Osama bin Laden's collaboration with these extra terrestrial beings, and on this, the fifteenth day of February, two-thousand and four, I ask the Congress of the United States to formally declare war against the extraterrestrial beings on the planet Mars.
The House of Representatives and the Senate convened for a special session on Sunday afternoon, and quickly handed the President his declaration.
