Wednesday, October 22, 2003

NASA sends Coca Cola into Space; Pepsi Disappointed

U.S. space agency cautions that Coke was chosen for chemical properties and is not necessarily the beverage of choice for all researchers at NASA.

Ft. Lauderdale, FL (AP) - On Monday, at 9:17pm EDT, NASA launched a rocket to place a satellite into orbit. This satellite has a curious payload -- six cans of Coca Cola.

"This satellite contains a total of twenty scientific experiments, including the Coke," says Sean Livingston, a NASA scientist. "But the Coke experiment is by far the most fascinating."

Through this experiment, scientists hope to further expand our knowledge of the effects of cosmic rays on carbonated beverages. We currently know very little of the nature of cosmic ray interactions with beverages, carbonated or otherwise.

"If this study proves to be a success, which we can only imagine it will," continued Livingston, "then our next step will be to send an alcoholic beverage into space next. We are currently in talks with Jack Daniels, pursuing this next step."

Excluding the researchers salaries, this experiment has cost taxpayers, a total of $4.7 million, which paid for the special motion-damping suspension, the intra- and extra-can sensors, and the six pack of Coca Cola. The scientists assure us that the payoff from this research though will be priceless.

Pepsi officials declined to comment on the significance of this study, and would only say that Pepsi would have been a better choice. Meanwhile, Pepsi has announced a new relationship with the European Space Agency to study the effects that "weightlessness has on the hip, cool attitude of our Pepsi cola soft drink."