Undead respond to allegations of terrorist ties
The undead population has called for a boycott of the Weekly World News
and the resignation of the executive management of the newspaper following publication of their August 7th issue featuring the article "Homeland Security Chief Warns Bush...Terrorists Recruiting Zombie Army to Invade US."
"Zombies are not terrorists," declared Ed Johnson, spokesman for the Zombies United For America campaign. "This story from [WWN] is nothing but blatant lies and the zombie community will not stand by as such horrible allegations are made."
Undead readership, which once made up a healthy percentage of the yearly subscribers to the newspaper, has dwindled to just 5% of the total readers, according to sources within Weekly World News, and continues to fall as the boycott enters its third week. ZUFA reps report that undead have largely turned to alternative news sources such as Byzantine Communications' own It's News, Dammit! publication.
ZUFA spokesman Johnson saysthat the group has not ruled out filing a class action lawsuit on behalf of subscribers, and is definitely pursuing a federal case of discrimination. "Zombies are not second-class citizens. Weekly World News could not have made such allegations against any other race or group without an enormous backlash, and this case is no different."
