Insider: Google, Hormel to form strategic alliance

Speaking under conditions of anonymnity, a Google employee informed us that Google has agreed to form a strategic alliance with Hormel Foods, the maker of the canned Spam food product.
As evidence of the claim, the employee pointed to Google's in-beta Gmail email website. Supporting the free service will be a series of advertisements that scan email text, and displays related advertisements alongside the email messages. Recently, Google has also added what it calls "Web Clips" to the top of folder views, which alternate between short one-line advertisements and news clippings.

"Recently, Google began to display all Spam recipes in the Web Clips above the Spam folder listings. I work in the Gmail division, and heard the boss discussing the feature with one of the core programmers."
Sure enough, a visit to the spam folder of a Gmail account reveals that all of the web clips have been replaced by Spam recipes.

Google and Hormel representatives refused to answer questions about the alleged strategic alliance. Thus far, there are no clues from Hormel what their end of the bargain might entail. Curiously, a Google Image search for "site:hormel.com Google" takes you to a picture demonstrating how to bone a chicken breast (screenshot here in case links change).

John Kerry Elected President of Oompa Loompa Union

Failed US Presidential Candidate John F. Kerry has completed his campaign to become president of the Oompa Loompa Labor Union successfully, with overwhelming support from the Oompa Loompa workers.
Elected to the post of President by a majority of eligible voters, Kerry will tackle the difficult issues that the Oompa Loompas face.

From Kerry's acceptance speech: "My fellow Oompas were brought here from Loompa Land by Willy Wonka, under the pretense that he would take them to a place where they would be free from the dangers of Vermicious Knids, Swangdoodles and Horn Swagglers. But instead of freedom, the Oompas were forced to work in Wonka's chocolate factories. I will fight to get all of the rights that my fellow Oompas deserve."

Kerry went on to promise to take Wonka to task on shorter workdays, higher hazard pay, and full 2 day weekends. Kerry also plans to fight for an end to all self-guided and other tours of the factory. Kerry: "No Oompa Loompa should have to deal with unruly children in the workplace."

Wonka representatives could not be reached for comment. An Oompa Loompa who works for Wonka's accounting division was optimistic about the future of the labor organization with Kerry at the helm: "As best I can tell, Kerry is a pretty smart man. He seems to understand the issues we Oompas face on a day to day basis. Wonka is a hard man to deal with, but Kerry will work hard to break through his barriers and get us what we deserve."