"Illegal Immigrants driving? Going to our schools for free? What were we thinking?"
Sacramento, CA - The Democrat majority of California's legislature announced Saturday their plans to stop smoking crack and start cracking down on stupid laws they've already passed.
"All I can say is that they sounded like good ideas at the time. I can honestly say that the Democratic majority of California's state government realizes now why [cocaine] is illegal," said California Senate Majority Leader Don Perata, explaining to the state's citizens why the government has been passing such non-sensical laws recently.
Majority Whip Richard Alarcón added: "First we decided to give driving rights to illegal immigrants. Then we gave them free college tuition. Thank God we came to our senses before we voted on Governor Davis' latest idea, giving all the illegal immigrants 3,200 square foot homes in Malibu."
Governor Gray Davis meanwhile has vehemently denied rumors that he pressured his fellow Democrats into smoking crack in the first place. "I can assure you that I have no involvement in their crack cocaine addictions. What they do on their own time, or while the legislature is in session, is strictly up to them and their constituents. If they are smoking crack, it must be because the voters of California want it this way."
When asked if he thought using illicit drugs in the halls of government was a good idea, Gray waffled around the question: "Now as I've already stated, this is obviously the will of the California voters. Whether this is a good idea or not is up to them. As their governor, I am responsible for signing or vetoing the bills provided to me by the legislators. It is not my job to decide whether these laws are good, moral laws."
California Republicans have unconditionally condemned the smoking of crack cocaine within the legislature. Republican leaders have expressed their outrage, and announced a formal investigation, possibly resulting in criminal trials on behalf of the citizens of California.
