Anonymous Reader writes:
Certain disaster looms in our future, says scientist, as we gradually deplete our atmosphere of O2.
Herman Broktendock, a professor of meteorology at the University of Mississippi, announced today at a class lecture his prediction that we will all be dead in 12 years. Student reactions varied; most felt it was an issue that we need to tackle starting right now.
"Like, Professor Broktendorf is a really smart guy," says Jason McDoogle, one of Broktendock's students. "They don't just make anyone a professor, you know. So like, if he says we're dead unless we stop using oxygen now, he's gotta be totally sure about it."
Broktendock's warning admonished auto manufacturers, who he claims are responsible for the problem.
"Car makers continue to produce cars burning fossil fuels; in fact, they produce more and more cars each year. How can they continue to do this, knowing that each car will burn several dozen tons of oxygen over its lifetime? It's reprehensible. Even President Bush's call for hydrogen-powered cars won't help. Sure, the cars will only produce water as an exhaust, but they still burn oxygen in the process."
Auto manufacturers responded to the professor's claims, telling reporters that they cannot be held responsible for the actions of automobile purchasers: "You don't go after the gun company because the gun's owner shoots someone, right? Same thing for a car: you can't go after us just because someone drives around and uses up the planet's breathable atmosphere."
Environmentalists have latched on to Professor Broktendock's research, heralding it as the evidence they need to pressure Congress to impose strict emissions laws, and require alternative fuels. Stocks of nuclear power plant manufacturers went up on the announcement, since nuclear power generation does not consume any atmospheric oxygen. Many other scientists have urged caution, and will not rush to support Broktendock's conclusions until they have been independently confirmed.
