Wednesday, July 2, 2003

FDA opens investigation of ''Weird Al''

Agency claims that singer promotes overeating, obesity.

Richmond. VA - The Food and Drug Administration announced
Tuesday that they are opening an investigation into popular singer ''Weird Al" Yankovic, alleging that his song lyrics are compounding the problems with overeating and obesity faced by nearly two-thirds of Americans.

FDA spokesman Richard Overland told reporters Tuesday that the Agency will consider demanding a total recall of all albums available in stores, and will even offer a cash refund to consumers in exchange for returning already-purchased CDs, cassette tapes, and vinyl records.

"Obesity has become a problem of epidemic proportions in the United States over the past twenty years," Overland explained, "and we believe that it is no coincidence that Mr. Yankovic has been producing music for this same amount of time."

Overland cites the lyrics of several "Weird Al" songs as problematic for the health of Americans. Most of these songs can be found on the album released as The Food Album, "a compilation of the worst offending songs by the artist," notes Overland.

"How do the following lyrics promote health?" Overland postured, then read the following from Yankovic's hit song, "Eat It":

Have some more chicken
Have some more pie
It doesn't matter
If it's boiled or fried

Just eat it, just eat it
Just eat it, just eat it... Woo!

When asked to comment on the pending investigation, Yankovic responded: "It's a parody, ok? That's protect speech, isn't it? I mean, c'mon!"

Sales of his latest CD, Poodle Hat, have been largely unaffected by the FDA announcement, despite the FDA's warning that constipation is a serious medical issue, and a warning that children may be tempted to imitate Yankovic's lyrics to "A Complicated Song," which deal with eating nineteen extra large pizzas.