Ft. Worth, TX - Top-level officials for the National Aeronatic and Space Administration today vigorously denied any cooperative work with extraterrestrials, despite mounting evidence to the contrary.
In a press conference Friday at 1200 CDT, NASA leaders announced that any claims that the government agency is involved in any joint efforts with alien life forms.
"The mere suggestion of this is ludicrous," Bill Adelanto decried. "The nearest solar system is billions of miles away, and would take hundreds of years to travel the distance. We have not even come up with a theoretical means of travelling fast enough to travel so far, and besides, we do not even believe that these nearest solar systems to be capable [of supporting alien life]."
The officials at the press conference read from prepared speeches, and refused to answer any questions. However, Byzantine Communications reporters were able to obtain off-the-record quotes from aides to these officials.
"I am 100% certain that there is no alien collaboration occuring within the NASA program," one aide spoke anonymously. "But I cannot make the same declaration about other agencies with which NASA does frequently compare 'research.'"
NASA officials refused to discuss any information related to such "research."
