Carcinogens in every-day food products blamed
Albany, New York - A woman at an undisclosed area hospital has given birth to a cat-human mutant, doctors say.
While many on-staff doctors were unable or unwilling to provide a medical explanation for this bizarre birth, other doctors were convinced that carcinogens, Cancer-causing chemicals, are to blame.
"It is clear to me," one doctor said, on the condition of anonymnity, "that the cancer-causing agents found in everyday food items is the root of this curious occurrence."
Which foods are to blame? Our anonymous physician tells us there is no-one food item that could have caused this. "All mammals share nearly seventy pecent of the same DNA sequences. The cumulative effect of all of the minute amounts of mutagenic carcinogens, in theory, could have caused a re-sequencing of those genes that make us uniquely human."
The cat-child's Mother was unavailable for comment, and hospital officials refused to release the birth certificate. Animal rights supporters expect this birth to significantly boost their cause. "Now there can be no arguments that animals dont deserve the same rights and treatment as you and I."
