"We the members of Al Qaeda wholeheartedly endorse John Kerry for President of the soulless satans of America," a senior leader in Al Qaeda spoke on a tape sent to Al Jazeera. "If he's good enough for us, why would America vote for anyone else?"Washington, DC - John Kerry is reportedly unsure of how to react to the endorsements by terrorists of his campaign for the presidency. "On the one hand," a Kerry staffer told reporters, "it's great to have people believing we're right for the job. On the other hand, Bush's camp is probably going to have a field day with 'Kerry Endorsed by Evildoers' attack ads."
While Bush is comfortable calling the terrorists an evil group, Kerry is not. The staffer continued: "John Kerry doesn't believe that these terrorists are evil, necessarily. They may just be misguided. Sure, they did kill thousands of innocent people, but maybe no one ever told them that that's wrong? You can't blame them for turning out the way they are, if that's the way they were raised as children."
The Bush campaign is indeed delighted with the news of the terrorists endorsing their competition. Bush himself talked to reporters, "John Kerry is not an evil man, please, let me stress this. But evildoers would rather have someone in power who will appease them, someone who will let them continue plotting and planning our destruction. That's all those terrorists want. And they feel that with Kerry in power, they will have a better chance for acheiving that evil goal."
This latest endorsement comes after Kerry has already been praised by Arab news source Al Jazeera and is well liked by North Korea's communist leader Kim Jong Il
