Scientists discover flower that cures Alzheimer's disease

Brown University scientists have discovered that the common "forget-me-not" flowers can actually help people not to forget. The ravages of Alzheimer's disease may be coming to an end, say scientists at prestigious Brown University. Biochemists there have discovered a compound in the forget-me-not flowers that they say can actually cease memory loss associated with the degernative brain disease.

"Over ninety percent of people with strong likelihood of developing Alzheimer's disease were able to maintain their same memory abilities over the length of the ten year study," said Joshua Robertson, PhD. "We found this particular set of results quite encouraging."

The group of scientists became interested in the abilities of common herbs and flowers to cure diseases. Robertson, the lead researcher, had lost his mother to Alzheimers, so it became the first disease to be investigated.

The actual choice of flowers was a no-brainer, say researchers. "Common sense tells you to keep it simple," said one associate researcher. "Why would people name a flower 'forget-me-not' unless it actually did aid in memory retention?"

An extract from the flower, which is common in floral arrangements, proved to be a powerful agent in preventing the development of Alzheimer's, but results were inconclusive regarding its ability to reverse the effects of the disease.

Scientists at competing universities caution that elderly people should not start eating flowers, and that investment advice to put your retirement fund money into greenhouses may be premature.

(Photo courtesy of Web of Species at Wellesley College)

Dick Cheney forwards chain email to Congress

"With the special Internet Explorer tracking code, Bill Gates will send
me $245 for every congressperson I send this email to!" Cheney
exclaims.Washington, DC - In addition to emails from her constituents, Dianne
Feinstein found a message from Vice President Dick Cheney titled "Fw:
PLEEEEEEASE READ!!!! it was on the news! asap." After scanning it for any
Republican viruses (or 'cooties' as she likes to call them), she read Cheney's
comments:

Hi Folks,

Don't know if this will work but if it does we can all retire early.

Dick

"Immediately I was skeptical," Feinstein told reporters. "I'm not apt to
trust strange emails from Republican leaders, especially those in the
executive branch. But I must say I was intrigued, so I read on."

Feinstein could immediately tell that this message had passed through many
systems, judging by all the forwarded subject headers in the message body.
Finally, she got to the meat of the message (see entire message at end of
the story).

"Well it says her for everyone I send this to, I'll get $245 from Bill
Gates," Feinstein remarked, "and $243 for everyone they send it to, and $241
for each person who gets one from those people...wow! I could be rich! Is
it really true?"

Feinstein checked with Microsoft, and found that Bill Gates has repeatedly
made public statements that there is no such email tracking program in
place, and that he will not send anyone a check. Learning this, she got
Cheney on the phone right away.

"That just doesn't make one bit of sense, though," Cheney told Feinstein
over the phone. "Read the message -- Charles S Bailey thought it was a scam
himself, but gave it a try, and two weeks later he was twenty four
thousand dollars richer! Plus Kathy Alcoa is an attorney, and knows the law, and
she says we've got nothing to lose!"

Hi Folks,

Don't know if this will work but if it does we can all retire early.

Dick
---------- Original Message ----------------------------------

From: Diane Bellwood

Date:  Wed, 5 May 2004 11:25:30 -0700
what the heck...

----- Forwarded by Diane Bellwood on 05/05/2004 11:22 AM -----

FROM:  "Billie Bobbie Berrie"

To: 

Subject:FW: FW: Fw: PLEEEEEEASE READ!!!! it was on the news! asap               
-----Original Message-----

From: Jane Poster

Sent: Tuesday, May 04, 2004 10:28 AM

To: ace; alexis; Pinsbyi; beccap; cdiamon; edgewaybev@pacific.com;

Subject: Fwd: FW: Fw: PLEEEEEEASE READ!!!! it was on the news! asap
-----Original Message-----

From: Dana Rbackher Walczuk

Sent: Tuesday, May 04, 2004 11:51 PM

To: pattI Spence; Toni Russel; Nelson Mandela

Cc: PATTI; ryan Rodin walczuk; SONNY Boy

Subject: FW: Fw: PLEEEEEEASE READ!!!! it was on the news! asap
-----Original Message-----

From: Earl Schlobohm

Sent: Monday, May 03, 2004 10:43 AM

To: Ron Ireland; Roger Smilestine

Cc: Bob Boxer; G whittier

Subject: FW: Fw: PLEEEEEEASE READ!!!! it was on the news! asap
-----Original Message-----

From: Matt Randalpf

Sent: Friday, April 30, 2004 12:36 PM

To: al; Alansky; andy; bedwards malib; charlie  Rohloff; dan von Briesen;

derek M; Donald PB; glen beaton; HAZEN jamie; Jennifer mywife; Joanna

Rapf; Karen A.; RAY roy schlobohm; sean McIntee; terry TJ; Vivid Wayne; z.

Rose

Subject: Fw: Fw: PLEEEEEEASE READ!!!! it was on the news! asap
----- Original Message -----

From: Kathleen Jacobs

To: Yvon Monetti ; Pattie Pence ; tami La Frenz ; Christina Herbage ;

Sharon  Jacobs ; michael altus ; Patricia A.  Banyanz ; Darci Beckel ; Rose

Braverman ; Naomi Brown ; Gina Cruz ; deedee Delgado ; Deneen  Elkins ; Elly

Sent: Wednesday, April 28, 2004 8:38 PM

Subject: Fwd: Fw: PLEEEEEEASE READ!!!! it was on the news! asap
 ----- Original Message -----

From: Heather French

To: carla fishe ; donna pounds ; me french ; orangish cheetah ; lye again

; kobe bryant;  steve mcmann ; perla sholland

Sent: Saturday, April 24, 2004 3:55 PM

Subject: Fw: PLEEEEEEASE READ!!!! it was on the news! asap
 >From: 

>To: Tiffany Lunsford, Couch burk,  Shanon EPMAC, Flores I French, D

Fonseca, Cruz Blaine"

>Subject: Fw: PLEEEEEEASE READ!!!! it was on the news! asap

>Date: Fri, 23 Apr 2004 20:35:56 -0500

>

>Message

>----- Original Message -----

>From: janice

>To: Vancuren, Scott & Susie ; Sisson, Mike ; Singer, Charlie ; Ross,

Mary

(Work) ; McCoy, Cheryl ; Hill, Carrie (Home) ; Earsing, Dave ; Bullard,

Don & Pat ; Brady, Tom & Vicki ; Best, Shanon & Norma ; Beck, Kim & Ken

>Sent: Friday, April 23, 2004 4:52 PM

>Subject: Fw: PLEEEEEEASE READ!!!! it was on the news! asap  >

>  >  >  >Had to forward this on........who doesn't want to get

rich  quick!!!!!?????

>

>

>THIS TOOK TWO PAGES OF THE TUESDAY USATODAY - IT IS FOR REAL  >

>

>Subject: PLEEEEEEASE READ!!!! it was on the news!

>

>

>

>

>

>

>!!!! It was on the news! Kathy Alcoa - EHS Maintenance Coordinator

Phone: 767/771 - 3547 Pager : 767/420 - 6575  >  >To all of my

friends, I do not usually forward messages, But this is from  my good friend

Penny Sandborn and she really is an attorney.

>

>If she says that this will work - It will work. After all, What have

you  got to lose? SORRY EVERYBODY.. JUST HAD TO TAKE THE CHANCE!!! I'm an

attorney, And I know the law. This thing is for real. Rest assured AOL and

Intel will follow through with their promises for fear of facing a

multimillion-dollar class action suit similar to the one fi led by PepsiCo

against General Electric not too long ago.

>

>Dear Friends; Please do not take this for a junk letter. Bill Gates

is  sharing his fortune. If you ignore this, You will repent later.

Microsoft  and AOL are now the largest Internet companies and in an effort to

make  sure that Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program,

Microsoft and AOL are running an e-mail beta test.

>

>When you forward this e-mail to friends, Microsoft can and will track

it  ( If you are a Microsoft Windows user)  For a two weeks time period.

>

>For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will pay

you  $245.00 For every person that you sent it to that forwards it on,

Microsoft will pay you $243.00 and for every third person that receives  it,

You will be paid $241.00. Within two weeks, Microsoft will contact you

for your address and then send you a check.

>

>Regards. Charles S Bailey General Manager Field Operations

>1-800-842-2332 Ext. 1085 or 904-1085 or RNX

>292-1085 Charles_Bailey@csx.com Charles_bailey@csx.com  >  >

>I thought this was a scam myself, But two weeks after receiving this

e-mail and forwarding it on. Microsoft contacted me for my address and

within days, I receive a check for $24,800.00. You need to respond before

the beta testing is over. If anyone can affoard this, Bill Gates is the

man.

>

>It's all marketing expense to him. Please forward this to as many

people  as possible. You are bound to get at least $10,000.00. We're not

going to  help them out with their e-mail beta test without getting a little

something for our time. My brother's girlfriend got in on this a few

months ago. When i went to visit him for the Baylor/UT game. She showed me

her check. It was for the sum of $4,324.44 and was stamped "Paid in full"

>

>Like i said before, I know the law, and this is for real.

>

>Intel and AOL are now discussing a merger which would make them the

largest Internet company and in an effort make sure that AOL remains the

most widely used program, Intel and AOL are running an e-mail beta test.

>

>When you forward this e-mail to friends, Intel can and will track it(

if  you are a Microsoft Windows user) for a two week time period.

>

>TRy it; What have you got to lose

>

>

>Confidentiality Notice: This e-mail message, from Children's

Hospital, including any attachments, is for the sole use of the  intended

recipient(s) and may contain confidential and privileged  information. The

recipient is responsible to maintain the confidentiality  of this information and

to use the information only for authorized  purposes pursuant to

Children's Hospital's confidentiality policies. If  you are not the intended

recipient (or authorized to receive information  for the intended recipient),

you are hereby notified that any review, use,  disclosure, distribution,

copying, printing, or action taken in reliance  on the contents of this

e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have  received this communication in

error, please notify us immediately by  reply e-mail and destroy all copies of

the original message. Thank you.

Bush plan to ''Mass Hypnotize'' Iraq bound to fail, say experts

Democracy-by-hypnosis is no basis for a system of government, claim group of political scientists.

Dayton, Ohio - While George W Bush has told Americans that "Iraqis will learn to love democracy while they sleep," a group of concerned poli sci professors at the University of Dayton are warning the country that Bush's plan is fraught with inconsistencies and just plain won't work."Democracy 'While You Sleep' will not work any better than 'Lose Weight While You Sleep' or 'Learn to Program in COBOL While You Sleep'," says Herbert Van Rooften, a tenured political scientist professor at the University of Dayton. "There is little empirical evidence that any 'While You Sleep' hypnosis audio tapes actually work, much less hypnosis tapes that purport to share the ideal form of government."

The President insists that Democracy-by-hypnosis is the best bet for Iraqis. "It has become clear that overt military actions alone will not pacify Iraqi insurgents. Indeed, their resolve only seems to strengthen as we approach the June 30th turnover date. We need a breakthrough in Iraq, and mass hypnosis only makes sense."

The logistics of supplying unwilling Iraqi citizens with audio cassette tapes and players to listen to while they sleep are overwhelming. Because of this, democracy-by-hypnosis tapes will only be provided to strategic cities by coalition troops, with remaining Iraqi citizens to be softly lulled to sleep by democracy-by-hypnosis loudspeakers.

Talk radio host Sean Hannity strongly approves of the President's plan. Al Gorezeera host Al Franken has accused Hannity of "drinking the Republican Kool-aid."

Sources within the White House say that the army is brewing up large batches of Republican Kool-aid, "in case the Democracy While You Sleep" hypnosis strategy fails.

Dark Horse candidate will replace Kerry at the Eleventh Hour

Anonymous but reliable sources have indicated that John Kerry will indeed be nominated by the Democratic Convention's nomination process, but that he will "mysteriously disappear" just weeks before the election, at which time the party will put forward a new candidate, with any votes for Kerry on the ballot going to the new candidate. The Bush campaign will be unable to adequately respond to this new candidate, says the source, causing him to lose the election.Though John Kerry's name will appear on the ballot, he will be "completely unable to assume the position of the Presidency of the United States," says the anonymous source, who claims to be a high-ranking Democrat. The source had nothing to say when asked if this meant that Kerry would die, possibly with "mysterious circumstances."

Kerry's replacement will not have to be a write-in candidate, but will instead be able to himself collect all the votes that have been cast for Kerry. The precedent for this was set by the election of the wife of the deceased Missouri governor to the US Senate. Though Mel Carnahan's name was on the ballot, his wife was given the Senate seat to which he was elected.

Democratic leaders refuse to comment on the allegations, calling them ludicrous. Senate Republicans have opened an official inquiry into the matter, looking to ensure there are no loopholes that would allow one presidential candidate to be elected when voters place their votes for a different deceased candidate. Republicans believe such an event would be a "travesty to our great republic" and in fact is not a constitutionally legal event, which they would fight all the way to the highest court in the land.

Kerry Reveals Moon is a Governmental Conspiracy

Kerry expands on his "We need to go to the moon right here on Earth" speech, as a call to Americans to "wake up and realize that NASA never went to the moon; it was all staged at an old U.S. army base. In fact, the moon itself is nothing more than a helium-filled dirigible that circles the globe at an altitude of 3 miles."To support his claims that the moon landings, and indeed the moon itself are merely government hoaxes, Kerry pointed out numerous Internet web sites that go into the evidence and specifics regarding the moon hoax.

NASA scientists and astronauts are up in arms in reaction to Kerry's suggestions that the United States has never placed a man on the moon. Even Russian cosmonauts and Chinese taikonaut Col. Yang Liwei firmly agree that NASA did place men on the moon several times, and that the evidence strongly supports this. "Baseless accusations from an American Democrat cannot overshadow the fact that America was first to place men on the moon," Liwei stated. "Soon China will reach the moon itself, with it's flag planted proudly on the satellite's surface."

Kerry, seemingly unfazed by the mountains of evidence suggesting he's wrong, continued with his accusations on the campaign trail Tuesday. "The moon on Earth must be the goal for this generation," Kerry preached at a stop in northern Georgia. Kerry would not speak with reporters, telling them to review his campaign literature for more details.

Minions of Satan are spreading via the Internet

Rare breed of demon is spreading rapidly through the World Wide Web. Some dismiss it as yet another computer virus, while some spiritual leaders have denounced the Internet as the playground of the Great Evil, and have admonished their followers to unplug from the 'Net.Known as a "text/devil," it is widely regarded as one of the minor demons in Satan's army. One religious expert had this to say:

Text/devils maintain their dominion over pages and documents that have fallen into evil ways. Before the age of the Internet, text/devils were largely restricted to underground newsletters and other printed documents, but were unable to gain a larger domain.


With the advent of the Internet, text/devils are now able to roam freely from website to website, infecting the servers and computers of Web surfers at an astonishing rate. Once a minor demon and a small problem for mankind, the text/devil may yet prove to be a formidable enemy of the powers of goodness on the Internet in our age.

People who browse the Web using Microsoft's Internet Explorer are likely to receive no warnings that their computer is downloading, and subsequently infected by, a text/devil. Users of Mozilla-based web browsers will receive a dialog box (see below) prompting them whether or not to download a text/devil infected file. These users are urged to cancel the download, not only to protect their own computers but to slow the rate of spread of these minor demons.

There is currently no anti-virus program that can clean up a text/devil infection, and neither McAfee nor Symantec could be reached for further comment. Microsoft has not issued any critical updates that could patch the Internet Explorer program to prevent transmission of the text/devils, and has no such patch in the works, according to a Microsoft spokeswoman.

Condoleezza Rice Refutes Clarke Argument that She'd Never Heard of Al Qaeda

Rice: "I knew plenty about Al Qaeda when Richard Clark first brought up the topic with me in 2000. The problem was that he didn't have a clue how to pronounce it, so I didn't understand him right away."Condoleezza Rice has gone on the offensive to clear up some misunderstandings the evening before she is due to testify to the 9/11 Commission. Her claim is that she had known about Al Qaeda even before her 2000 meeting with Richard Clark, while he couldn't even pronounce the name of Osama bin Laden's terrorist organization correctly.

"What Richard Clark failed to remember when he was writing his book, is that after he mentioned Al Qaeda to me, I paused a couple seconds, then asked him 'Do you mean Al Qaeda?' enunciating and pronouncing it correctly. Clarke had pronounced it like 'el kweeday'."

In his book, Richard Clark only said that "As I briefed Rice on Al Qaeda, her facial expression gave me the impression that she had never heard of the term before."

The Bush administration's approval rating has, according to some polls, suffered somewhat because of the controversy stirred up by Clarke's book. Many political scientists feel, however, that the administration is more than capable of handling the issue carefully and will quickly regain any lost percentage points.