"Weird Al"-Qaeda disguise fools onlookers but not border patrol agents
Niagra Falls, NY (AP) - The United States Border Patrol has finally captured Osama Bin Laden as he attempted to enter the country from Canada, disguised as "Weird Al" Yankovic. Officials had long believed Bin Laden was still hiding in caves in the mountains of Afghanistan, but it appears he had managed to sneak out of that country and into Canada, in an attempt to reach U.S. soil. See an exclusive photo in the full story.
Bin Laden had prepared an elaborate disguise, purporting himself to be none other than "Weird Al" Yankovic. This "Weird Al"-Qaeda disguise fooled many onlookers, but aroused the suspicions of the border patrol agents stationed on the U.S. side of Niagra Falls.
The disguise, complete with an accordion, Hawaiian-style shirt, and a chicken hat, gave Bin Laden what he felt was the perfect cover. But keen-eyed agents recognized his face as one of those on the FBI's Most Wanted Terrorist list.
President Bush praised the border patrol agents for their sharp eyes and quick thinking, which have prevented Bin Laden from performing any further acts of terrorism on United States soil. "Without the diligent work of these tireless defenders of freedom, terrorists would be roaming freely in our country. I, and all Americans, salute them for their bravery and fortitude in this war on terrorism," Bush said, as he conferred his praise.
Bin Laden will be transferred to Camp Delta, the Guantanamo Bay detention facility for questioning, and is due to stand trial for cimes against humanity.
The FBI questioned "Weird Al" Yankovic in connection with the investigation of Bin Laden's capture, but officials have announced that Yankovic has cooperated fully and is not a suspect. Byzantine News sources have revealed that Yankovic reported an accordian missing three months ago, of the same model found on Bin Laden. Yankovic reportedly lost the accordion at a concert in upstate New York.
